Lucy in the Sky. . . . with diamonds

I've just had the most surreal day. I had an appointment to see an optometrist in Billings at 1:00. I had the day off work and I could have slept in, but knowing that I wouldn't be able to, I left the house at the usual time of 7:00 am. I had Morning Edition on the radio, my usual morning routine, and they were talking about a transportation strike in France and then about fact that there are members of the black race who aren't black anymore? It seems that members of the poor black race are disowning the rich members of the black race? Anyway, at 9:00 the news ended and classic music came on. Now I like classic music well enough, but not when I'm driving so I started pushing buttons on the radio to see what programs were on. I had one hand on the wheel and both eyes on the road, just pushing buttons. A talk radio show came on. It was Sean Hannity. Talk about surreal. He has no facts at all on his show, just his loud mouthed opinions. And when people call in to talk, he cuts them off and rants. One guy who was disagreeing with him started "breaking up.", but "thanks for calling." He ranted about how all media is controlled by the liberals. He doesn't seem to realize that he's media as well. He said over and over how slanted and bias the media is. If he's not media, is he smallia? Around noon I met my dad and brother for a delightful lunch and the only non surreal part of the day.

Anyway I got into see the eye doc and he wrote me a prescription for a new pair of "computer" glasses so I can sit at the computer and not have to either tilt my head up to see through the bottom of my bifocals or take my glasses of all together and squint like I am now. The very last thing he did was dilate my pupils for a look at the back of my eyeball. After the exam, I picked out a new pair of "outrageous" frames and finished my shopping. I figured that I would walk around the store and let my pupils get back to normal. But when I finally left the store and stepped out into the bright, sunny afternoon, I could hardly see my way to the car and my lovely, wraparound sunglasses. The sunglasses did the trick though and I felt confident that I could drive safely. I stopped in Hardin to fill up for gas, it is $.34 cheaper in Hardin than in Ashland. By that time it was dusky and people were turning on their headlights and surreality took on another dimension. All the headlights, reflectors and traffic signs looked as if they had been special effected by a Disney cartoonist on LSD. Huge, spiky halos surrounded every light. The halos were so broad that they covered both lanes of traffic and so bright that I couldn't figure out how many cars were lined up in the other lane. I eventually figured out that if I squinted really hard, I could focus much better. I made it home OK, but I will never do that again.
Moral:
Always take someone with you when you go to the eye doc. Or don't let him dilate your eyes.